My insanely funny friend, Jenners, over at Life With A Little One And More, came up with this brilliant game to play where you try to come up (on purpose, mind you!) with THE WORST opening line for a ficticious book. So, I am going to gird my loins and wade in chest deep with both barrels blazing. See? I am ALREADY mixing my metaphors...how much worse can it get?
"Sobbing beautifully, as only a beautiful woman can, Charlotte whipped her glossy, raven locks back and shook her delicately petite, if defiant, fist in vain at the cowardly retreating back of her one-time-fiance, who had only just previously heartlessly rejected her because of his own pitiful inability to tame her wild, unbridled nature." From The Grossly Unjust Rejection of Beautifully Unbroken Charlotte.
Wow! Where did that come from? I would be the LAST PERSON on God's Green Earth to read a trashy romance novel, but that sounds like a best seller for sure! Ok, how about this one?
"Cursed with indecision, Roger stood unmoving in front of the checkout clerk, with her unanswerable question reverberating in his quivering brain." An excerpt from Paper or Plastic? A Modern-Day Horror.
Ba-dum-bum-CHING!!!! How did I do....Hopefully horrible, terrible, no good AND very bad!!!! (My apologies to Judith Viorst for heisting her title.....)