Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Imbeciles! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant.I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now............
Can you just SEE this? I practically fell off my chair laughing at this, it is SOOO cat-like!
And now, drum roll please....Here is my kitty, Leonardo Di Catrio (that name was NOT my idea!)
He is a Bengal cat, which is a cross between a domestic cat and an Asian Leopard Cat. They say their temperament is more like a dog-in-a-cat-suit, and I would have to agree...How many cats come when you call them? He has a gorgeous, glittery spotted coat and big amber eyes. He is such a big baby...
2 comments:
Oh MY God! This was soooooo funny! I just loved it! It so perfectly captures the difference between a dog and a cat!
And I suspect that after putting those hair extensions in your cat, you should be VERY careful near the top of the stairs tomorrow!
Great post! I just loved it!
Yes, well, you might be right about that! and we DO have stairs, although my DH and I went out of town and left my mom and dad at our house with the kids! hehehe I thought the same thing when I first read this! I was like..."I can just SEE this!" (after I finished laughing hysterically, of course!
Shannon
p.s.
the word verification is asking me to spell "staliter", which, according to my good friend Janna, the dermatologist, is the best method for the prevention of skin cancer, and worse...WRINKLES!!!!
Blessings!
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